DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF TO YOUR FRIENDS’ LIMITS

One thing I learned over 2019 was to never limit myself to my friends’ limitations. Allow me to explain myself. Obviously, this is a life lesson many must learn, but I’ll be sharing some of the story how I learned it. In no way am I trying to come against anyone. I love my friends and communities, but the lesson I learned is still helpful. Grab some coffee and let’s roll.

There are groups of writers, writing communities, chat forums, all that cool jazz, online. You can find lots of friends who share your interest and your goals. You most likely already know this, yeah? I have a huge passion for the Indie community! I have some dear friends I’ve met through the community. The writing community helps me learn, helps encourage me, etc. But over the years, I’ve learned that it is so easy to limit ourselves to what our peers do themselves.

And that’s not good.

Over the years, I built a couple communities around myself, spoke pretty much only to people I thought I could trust, people who thought like I did. But seasons change. As I began writing The Divided Nation, The Infidel Books #1, in early 2019, I noticed a slight change in myself and it showed when I hung out in my writing communities. Some of my thoughts/beliefs about God, books, and writing stopped matching up to my friends’. I didn’t mind so much. I’m not one to be swayed when I have a belief, because I’ve prayed it over, researched, etc, to make sure I understand why I believe the way I do. My beliefs must match up to the Bible and my God-given convictions. Everyone, as you know, has different convictions and perspectives on the Bible.

Thus, the strife among Christian authors. Christians bicker often about what is Godly fiction. “No magic, ever!” “No sex, ever!” You get the drift, right? I was faced with plenty of “this is what Christians should write” in 2019. Did I want to stop writing The Infidel Books because the majority of my close community thought swearing worthy of low stars, violence best at minimalist, and dark themes often were too overbearing? I banged my head against the wall for a while, folks, I’ll admit. But I came to terms with: I love my community, but they aren’t my reading audience. It was a huge obstacle for me at the time because I didn’t know how to find new readers! (Know the feeling?)

And whether your writing community, your tight group, etc, is your target reading audience or not, do not let them set your limits. Hear me? Your peers don’t decide what you can or cannot write (or paint, or sing, or do, whatever you do). God does. Don’t have to have your limitations set by anyone but God. Maybe you are convicted not to write magic, swearing, or violence. Maybe you think there is a middle-ground when it comes to magic, swearing, and violence. These are just examples, but I hope my point is clear–no Christian author must write the exact same way as another. Do I have strong beliefs when it comes to these, and other, examples and topics? Yep. Am I going to slap my friends’ wrists for writing something I don’t agree with 100%? No. Because I am not God.

I followed God’s lead and started writing The Divided Nation, but gosh, it was strange to see support not come from where I expected it to. And it wasn’t a bad thing at all. God sent support in ways I didn’t expect. He introduced me to new friends, new readers, and so forth. In life, seasons change, and friendships come, go, and stay. The writer’s life is still life, so the relationship seasons roll the same!

In July, a month before The Divided Nation’s release, I attended Realm Makers. I was in the final stages of publishing The Infidel Books #1 but… still struggled. Nagging voices can be hard to fight, as you probably know, but you can fight them with God. For me, God spoke to me as I was at Realm Makers, and I call that time the “Final Push”. I met new people. I grew closer to friends. I spoke with Bryan Davis and Robert Liparulo (no joke!) about The Divided Nation and was reassured that I didn’t have to write what anyone else wanted me to. I just had to write what I had to write. If I stayed true to what God was giving me to write, then nothing could destroy that. Not friends, not enemies, nothing. I could have faith God would do the rest if I was faithful with my half.

So, I was faithful. And you know what? God blew my limits away. God surpassed my expectations. God isn’t limited to our friend groups, our communities, our families. God is limited to nothing. Why do we limit ourselves? Also, I’m not saying limits like pushing too hard, and we should limit what we do, because overwhelming goals might not be from God, haha. I’m saying we limit ourselves before ever letting God help set our own limitations, which might look nothing like we expect! Why do we put so much weight into others’ thoughts and opinions after we know what God’s placed in our hearts? This was a hard lesson for me in 2019, but I am so grateful God was with me through the long haul. If I had stopped and listened to the majority of early 2019’s peers, The Divided Nation wouldn’t look the same as it does now, and the very idea breaks my heart. If I’d listened to my peers (who didn’t read that genre), my book wouldn’t be what God wanted of me. God’s desire from us trumps anyone else’s opinions.

I love my writing groups, communities, and all of my friends. I love helping Indie writers learn, grown, and own their own voices. God gave us our own unique voices. Don’t put a limit on that. Don’t let anyone drown you out or slap your wrist to quiet you. If you need some tips on how to find your reading audience, Google can be immensely helpful. You can find online groups/forums on social media to get you started, too. Never be afraid to branch out and grow! Pray, follow God’s lead, and get out of the boat.

God bless,

Angela R. Watts

12 thoughts on “DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF TO YOUR FRIENDS’ LIMITS

  1. ScribeofWorlds says:

    Thank you so much for this article Angela and I completely agree. Seasons change and so too, do our friendships with other people, including fellow Christian authors.

    For me, I’ve begun to realize that when discussing topics and the use of “magic” in my stories but I’ve realized, like I’m sure you have as well, that our stories come from someone but we have to let God guide us (even if it’s hard. )

    Reply
    1. Angela Watts says:

      Thank you for reading!

      Yes, magic is one of those “tough” things to handle for me. Even some classics, I can’t agree wholeheartedly were portrayed how I personally am convicted God would be happy with, if that makes sense? I’m no one to yell against anything–but I can change my own actions, write what I am convicted is good/right, and as long as I follow God’s instructions, that’s enough. I don’t have to follow the crowd.

      Reply
  2. Julia Garcia/Arysta Henry says:

    Hi Angela!
    I absolutely love this post!
    Last year my adopted aunt (She’s my mom’s best friend and so she adopted me as her niece.) and I were doing a Bible study and realized we both struggled with the same thing: letting others approval dictate our actions. Over the past year, I’ve noticed both of us grow in freedom in this area. It’s so hard not to care about what others think but freeing once we realize that God’s opinion of us is the only one that truly matters.
    It’s sad that we limit ourselves. I know for me, part of this was the fact that I grew up with a legalistic background. I had no idea I was imposing my own rules on myself until my pastor preached a sermon on legalism and the burden it places on us. It slapped me upside the head and woke me up. My ideas of how I should act and what I should do with myself did not line up with what the Bible taught. They were just my own rules I made to help myself look good in front of others. I know this did not help myself. It built up walls around my heart, making me a very self-conceited person who really didn’t want to be around others at all.
    By God’s grace, those walls have begun to come down and I’m starting to allow others to speak into my life.

    Reply
    1. Angela Watts says:

      Amen, Julia. ♥ It can be SO hard to find freedom in God when we are used to Christianity’s rules… rules that aren’t actually God’s rules.

      Meeting you was such a gift and you are in prayers! I am so glad you and your aunt (I have adopted aunts, too!) are on that journey together! My mom said this is one I’ll probably continue to learn.

      Reply
  3. Kellyn Roth says:

    People need to calm down. I suppose some might say they’re “coming alongside” a Christian sister and encouraging her to get back on track, but you don’t know anyone’s track when it comes to the details. There’s a point at which you must realize that though some subjects are 100% black and white, many are not!

    Also, commenting on mobile in this blog is a pain, and I wonder what I did wrong to make this happen.

    Reply
    1. Angela Watts says:

      The Interweb hates us both… ;P

      Yeppers. And honestly, I’m very careful as to who I let BE a “big sis in Christ”? I have a mom and a sister. I’m pretty good in that area, haha.

      Reply
  4. Abigail Harder says:

    I love this, Angela!! I really needed this and it’s true..we all have different convictions and different walks. I can handle swearing, violence, and things like that in books because that’s just who I am, but as you mentioned above, I have some friends who cannot handle that kind of stuff. We all are different and I feel like its also important to remember that though someone can write things that we ourselves don’t feel comfortable with, that does not mean that they are any less Christian than we are, it just means that God has placed a different story on their heart.

    Thank you for sharing this! I really needed it and its always a good reminder to us all!! <3

    Reply
    1. Angela Watts says:

      Amen, Abigail! As you say, different Christians can read different things. It doesn’t mean either side is less Christian. God says the church has different parts–it is vital we are all different! ♥

      May God bless you and thanks so much for reading!

      Reply
  5. kassieangle says:

    Wow, Angela…thanks for sharing this. I’ve kind of had the opposite experience, my ragtag writing group of writing buddies kind of rallied around my niched stories and in turn, me, more than the non-writing friends I’d known longer and wanted so much to please.
    So…yeah, this isn’t easy, but thanks for this reminder. 💕

    Reply
    1. Angela Watts says:

      That can be so tough. I’m sorry! God has a reason for your stories and He will make sure the right people read them–even if that isn’t who we expect. You are doing amazing. 🙂

      Reply
    1. Angela Watts says:

      Thank you! And GOSH, Merie, thanks! I hope you like The Grim Alliance… 😉

      Reply

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